I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
