two words: eviction party
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize