I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
