I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
