Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He did a backflip because drugs
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
