Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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