her vagine was all disorganized.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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