its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
