brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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