great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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