Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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