So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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