And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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