He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Randomize
