party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
