looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
