well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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