I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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