my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
