Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
