I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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