I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
