he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
