Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Randomize
