after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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