That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
