I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i believe in u and ur pee
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
