Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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