I smell stomach acid.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
