after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
