Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
