My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
