I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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