I bet he comes in French.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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