Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
should my penis look like a turkey
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
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Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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