So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
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what is it with giant penises always finding me
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
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We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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