i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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