i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
