yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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