But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
