you will always have a special place in my vag
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Come on in and take your pants off
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