I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
