I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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