Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
