So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
