I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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