exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
