Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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