it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize