Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
