I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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