WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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