he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
