checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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