i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Randomize