He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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