your room smells of hookers.
And success
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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