It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he thought i was a dude.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just want nice things and good sex
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Randomize
