I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
