i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
