Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
