Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I am midnight drunk by noon
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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